"His
Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof
Marriage"
by
Willard F. Harley Jr
His
Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof
Marriage
could
save many marriages and probably has. I am applying the principles taught
in the book with fantastic results!~TOM
Harley promises that his book will help you build an affair-proof marriage.
I think his book can deliver as promised. Harley lists the five basic needs
every husband and wife have, and demonstrates how those needs can be met.
As we act considerately toward our spouse, and meet their basic needs, we
make deposits in our spouse's "love bank." When we act harshly or selfishly
toward our spouse, we drain the "love bank." Draining the love bank means
we are robbing our marriage of spark and life. The goal is to make more deposits
to the bank than we make withdrawals. Harley's book is helpful in causing
us to think how we can act appropriately toward our spouse and keep love
alive. He has some excellent ideas in basic actions of courtesy and love
toward our spouses~Warren
His
Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
Book Description
How can couples experience a lifetime of passion and fulfillment in marriage?
By identifying each other¹s most important emotional needs and developing
habits to meet them. This is the basis for two books from best-selling author
Willard Harley. Now it¹s easy for couples to learn together from these
books‹for the first time they can listen to five unabridged CDs of the
widely popular
His
Needs, Her Needs, or to four unabridged audiotapes of Fall in Love,
Stay in Love (read by the author). With these tools, spouses will learn about
the Love Bank, how to cultivate passion, and how to resolve marital conflict.
--This text refers to the Audio CD edition.
From the Inside Flap The story behind this book . . .
"What a challenge! Marriages were breaking up at an unprecedented rate, and
no one knew how to stop it. So I made it my own personal ambition to find
the answer."-from the new preface
Dr. Harley admits that he wasn't always the successful marriage counselor
he is today. In fact, there was a time when nearly every couple who came
to him for counsel ended up divorced. But rather than give up, Dr. Harley
set out to find a solution to the problem. This book is the product of that
commitment.
For the past fifteen years, Dr. Harley has used this book
(His
Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage) to teach couples
what's most important in marriage-how to fall in love and stay in love. Now,
with more than a million copies and twelve translations of His Needs, Her
Needs in print, he shares the story behind the book and continues to offer
readers a practical plan for creating and sustaining a passionate marriage.
Nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D.
is the author of many books on marriage, including Love Busters and The Five
Steps to Romantic Love. marital problem. Dr. Harley lives in White Bear Lake,
Minnesota, with Joyce, his wife of thirty-eight years.
READER'S COMMENTS ON His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
This is a very simple and straightforward
book on the competing agendas of men and women in relationship. It fosters
and understanding between the sexes and it particularly well-suited to those
who are newly married or can't seem to understand the other gender.
While the ideas presented are simple, they are practical and powerful when
put into practice.
His
Needs, Her
Needs
definitely will help you to understand your partner and have more
compassion for them. This alone will help to foster productive change and
more positive communication about issues.
While this book doesn't go into a lot of depth about dynamics, communication
strategies or developmental dynamics, it is big on common sense and practical
solutions. It cuts to the bottom line, which is exactly the kind of advice
a lot of couples in trouble need.
The book does not talk about basic compatibility, which I think is a shortcoming.
However, you can get this from Will Our Love Last by Sam Hamburg. It is very
difficult to make any relationship work if you are not compatible to begin
with. The point here is that I think Harley oversimplifies marriage a bit
too much, but any married person will certainly find a lot of good advice
here. ~Patrick
My Husband and I read this book (His Needs, Her Needs) after what we thought was too late for us. It not only saved our marriage, but it made it better than it ever was before. We now buy this book everytime we are invited to a wedding and add it to the wedding gift.~Mrs. A. L.
We love this book
(His
Needs, Her
Needs) and have used it to teach several small groups on marriage. The
concepts are so practical and realistic. Even good marriages can benefit
from this book. Why settle for "good" when a marriage can be AMAZING!~Larry's
Woman
I'm about to get married and this book
(His
Needs, Her
Needs) was recommended reading from the pastor, so I took it up and gave
it a shot. I have to say that I always felt that there was a gap in the interests
of men and the interests of women, but I think this book showed me exactly
where the gap is and just how large it is. Knowing that can be the difference
in whether a relationship succeeds or fails, so it's quite valuable.
My fiancee and I have a great line of communication and we don't have problems
meeting our different interests, but this book showed us how we can do little
things to make the other person feel better. I truly had no idea how many
different ways there were to make my finacee happy that I could have been
using all along!
I think this book should be a must-read for any couple that considers themselves
serious because, even for the most communicative couples, this book will
get you talking about all the extra ways you can make your mate happier.
I definitely feel that it has helped our relationship and it will likely
help yours too!~Brad
A profound, yet simple concepted book
full of great advise. Wish I had read this long ago. Equally helpful to both
men and women. "Ahhh, that explains it!", is a phrase I frequently muttered
while reading.
This book is so good I give it out to all newlyweds as a wedding present.~A
Reader
On the brink of divorce, I picked up this book
(His
Needs, Her
Needs) to help myself understand what went wrong. Wow! I was so impressed
with the ideas and content of this book that I couldn't put it down. Regardless
of where I stand in my current marriage, I feel SO much better about myself
and my abilities to understand the needs that men and women have. This will
be my wedding present to all newly weds I encounter in the
future.~D.K.
His
Needs, Her
Needs
: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage is
the best marriage book I've read. Most relationship book buyers are female
and it's generally a good business decision to cater to those buyers but
Harley does a good job of representing the male point of view. Most marriage
books I've read ignored the masculine side and/or were way off base e.g.
John Gray.
I could nitpick and say the top 10 needs are not exhaustive of what all couples
need but this is about as good a short list as you will find.
In reading over other reviews, I noted most of the negative reviews came
from what appeared to be female reviewers. This is one of the few marriage
books that is not quite biased against men so I can understand their shock
and dismay at finding something which is reasonably balanced.
Overall I would say there is a little too much blame directed at men in the
book. Sometimes men are blamed for not satsifying women's needs and then
also blamed for not getting their own needs satisfied There is no similar
criticism of women and I wondered why not. Does that men men are inherently
worse than women? Even so, compared to most of the stuff out there this book
is a gem.
The best part is that it's practical and get people talking about a specific
plan that can work for both parties.~Craig
I (the male) left a marraige
after 23 years in 1990. This book
(His
Needs, Her
Needs) is
so much better than any of the marraige counseling we got when we were in
trouble, that I have to weigh in on the side of the 5 stars. For the first
time I understand clearly why my head was saying it was really stupid to
get a divorce, but my emotions blew away the logic.
I admit it sounds very cold, crass, and unromatic to suggest that we "love"
those who meet our emotional needs and resent those who don't...but I guarantee
you'll recognize some dynamics in your own relationship when you read the
stories. The best part of it, for me, is that the book provides practical
and doable ways to rebuild the feelings that lead you to get married in the
first place, without asking that you be perfect or give up who you are. If
we'd had this advice 15 years ago maybe we wouldn't have to be figuring out
separate schedules for visiting the grandchildren today. ~Pensive
A stroll through the swamp of not-so-helpful
relationship books on the market today will reveal to the savvy reader this
book's wisdom and value.
Husbands and wives both need to feel affirmed in their needs and feelings
-- this book offers that affirmation.
Husbands and wives both need to learn about the extremely DIFFERENT set of
needs his or her spouse has -- this book offers that information.
This isn't a "feel-good, all about me" book. This is a powerful, "don't be
afraid to admit your needs and don't be afraid to learn how to meet your
spouse's" book.
This book is, in a word, incredible. While laying before the reader the five
most important needs of men and women, the author is also careful to point
out that there is no "mold" from which we were all cast, and his book in
no way attempts to squeeze the reader into such a mold. The point is DISCOVERING
what our needs are (Mr. Harley helps the reader to accomplish this) and moving
on from there.
Staying happily married takes effort and commitment. With this book in hand,
a committed couple will have a powerful tool with which to move forward past
the rough spots (we all have them) and toward a better understanding and
deeper appreciation of each other.
I highly recommend this book
(His
Needs, Her Needs).~Jill
Read
more
or order your copy of
"His
Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof
Marriage"
today!
For men, you may
also be interested in reading Why Women
Cheat, written by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru. This highly raved about
ebook is available to you to read instantly - no waiting weeks and weeks
for snail mail delivery! Understand the real reasons behind a woman's affair!
For the women:
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ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer
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Men, are you repeatedly being dumped? Here's some excellent advice!
* Why Women Love Bastards - A Man's Guide to Holding His Own 'Power' in a Relationship. How Would You Like to Finally Find a Solution to Your Lack Of Manly Power over Women; in Your Life; in Your Relationships; and in Your Dating Arena?
* Why Women Dump Men - Forget what she told you, find out the real reason why women dump their guys.
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